• I help people fully inhabit their bodies and guide teachers to do the same • Get access to exclusive videos, articles and teachings from Domini Anne
With, and Without You : Reflections from the Wild Side
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Estimated read time: 15 minutes (11 minutes for personal reflection, 4 minutes for workout) Contents:
Hey Reader , just a heads up that this week's email is a longer read, covering in-depth personal reflections from my recent trip, PLUS a new workout for you. If you're short on time and want to jump straight to the workout, scroll down to the blue text. Sunny greetings from California! First off, a HUGE thank you to everyone who took the time to respond to my last "Sunday missive". It was amazing to read through your replies. Some of them arrived before we set out to sea, and the rest, I enjoyed upon my return to civilization. It meant a lot to me that you thoughtfully shared your experiences and wisdom when I needed it, and I am constantly blown away by the compassion and awareness of the people on my list. Even if you didn't write back, know that I appreciate you. Thank you for being a part of my community. So, of course, we need to start off this email with a recap: The greatest stories are the ones that you remember. The best lessons are those you continue to learn from long after the experience is over. And growth only happens when we are challenged to evolve. I shared a little video of my thoughts from the last day on the trip earlier this week on social media, but the real learning didn't start until I returned home. ( FB link, IG link) This trip challenged me in ways I hadn't anticipated. The best way I can describe it is : Imagine a week-long, exquisitely curated, four-star High School Natural History field trip where your entire class is on a boat together. Only half the class you've never met before, and the other half is ALL your family (multiple generations). The boat is a 140 foot catamaran (not a cruise ship) and every time you need something, human interaction is required. Your schedule is pre-determined, and although participation in the activities (excursions, meals, lectures) isn't required, your only alternative is to retreat to your room or remain on board if you choose to abstain from the featured item on the ship's agenda. You may remember I had some concerns about this voyage : intolerance of confinement, not being a water animal, and family coming with its own set of triggers. Well, that list was a solid start for the points of friction that emerged over the course of the week. Constant exposure to situations beyond my control impacted my emotions and behavior unexpectedly, as pieces of my personality that I thought I'd outgrown decades ago re-emerged. It turns out that I didn't outgrow my teenage angst, I just didn't take it with me when I left home. As your own boss, you have the luxury of autonomy . You set your own schedule, define your job description, and for the most part, choose who you work with. With this type of authority over your life, it's easy to assume that you're balanced, open, and able to compromise. Of COURSE you're flexible with the awkward challenges that arise within your self-created existence. But our emotional muscles of submission, acceptance, and self-regulation become weak without regular exercise, and that requires exposure to circumstances that require them. In essence, situations where we lack control, authority, and choice in our interactions.. This is not news to me. I become aware of my lack of skills in this area every time I work with an outside organization, or attend an event that's hard to leave and not my cup of tea (like a sports game, or religious service). And although some efforts are made for patience and compromise during those moments, they never last long enough to make these qualities second nature. There's a fine line between reflecting on personal experience and gossiping about yourself. I prefer to stay on the right side of that line. So I'll spare you the personal details and lean into the conclusions - at least the ones I've arrived at over the past week. Cognitive/behavioral therapy identifies several well-known stages of personal growth:
This trip was remarkable in that it provided me with the first 4 of these like that "High School Field Trip" was a crash course in shadow work and self-awareness. Faced with complete loss of autonomy over my schedule, meal choices, and even footwear; surrounded by a mix of absolute strangers and those with whom I share the longest history, I had ample opportunities for pattern recognition. As we rode out the swells, seated in stillness staring at the horizon or lying silently in the cabin, there was finally the time for the kind of self-reflection that happens beyond the "ego narrative", laying the groundwork for deeper understanding. The crew, exquisitely professional and yet salty as &#! in their own way, provided a mirror for me that resulted in nearly instant "real-time awareness". And by the end of the week, there were glimmers of evaluation, commitment, and implementation. Will it stick? That remains to be seen. The final stages require some consistency in practice, and I have less than zero desire to change any piece of this beautiful life I've built, and the wonderful community that is a part of it. As one of my clients wryly put it, "Sure, you could work on changing your personality, OR you could just never do something like that again." Like everything, the answer probably lies somewhere in-between. Your Turn: Have you ever had an experience that unexpectedly triggered personal growth? I'd love to hear about it - reply to this email if you’re inclined to share ! Mini-Ball Chair Workout: Your Solution for Confined Spaces So, anyhow, enough about me. I made you a workout this week 😁 It's inspired by two things: • This idea that I'm chewing on that our bodies do not in any way follow a straight line, and just because the most cost-effective and stable methods of construction rely on even planes, straight lines and right angles, it's unrealistic to expect that we are going to move that way, or even naturally fit into those shapes. • The need for variety in your sitting position. Especially when confined to a seat for any length of time, be it at work, in a car, or on an airplane. The mini-ball is an absolute MUST in my carry-on bag, and I use one also on long road trips, and at any conference I attend. It encourages the shifts that our bodies are always making as they seek comfort and organic movement, and allows us to discreetly "work out the kinks" without erupting into a full-scale stretching performance while in public. This 6-minute routine walks you through some of the basic moves you can do with any chair and a semi-inflated mini-ball that will instantly restore softness and vitality to your body. When you start to feel creaky, when your joints begin to ache from sitting too long in the same position, the mini-ball is your perfect solution. Try it today, then buy a few extra and keep them in your car, your travel bag, in a drawer at work… I know you get me. Until next time, Domini Anne P.S. Despite my momentary meltdowns, the trip itself was a masterpiece of planning and execution. If you're the type who thrives on nature's grandeur and doesn't mind trading Wi-Fi for wildlife, this is your jam. Consider this my enthusiastic, slightly-salty-but-mostly-sweet endorsement for Maple Leaf Adventures. #HighlyRecommend for those whose idea of fun involves more orcas than room service. p.p.s - I love you Dad. |
Domini Anne
• I help people fully inhabit their bodies and guide teachers to do the same • Get access to exclusive videos, articles and teachings from Domini Anne
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